The Scourge Chat Logs - A gem from the WotLK days.

***User "theLichKing" has entered the chat.***[theLichKing]: Hey[theLichKing]: Anyone there?[theLichKing]: *drums fingers****User "Kel'Thuz4d" has entered the chat.***[theLichKing]: Hey man.[Kel’Thuz4d]: my liege[theLichKing]: Listen, there's this thing I need you to do for me[Kel’Thuz4d]: anything my liege[Kel’Thuz4d]: what army must i lay to waste[Kel’Thuz4d]: whose lands shall i decimate for ur glory[theLichKing]: Um, yeah, I'm good on decimation for today. We're going to hold off on the decimation for, like, a week or so.[Kel’Thuz4d]: ok?[theLichKing]: I was thinking. How much trouble do you think it would be to have a thermostat installed in the Throne Room?[Kel’Thuz4d]: ...[Kel’Thuz4d]: y?[theLichKing]: It's really really cold in here.[theLichKing]: I'm Lord of the Scourge. I think I should get a thermostat.[Kel’Thuz4d]: no its a frozen throne[theLichKing]: Right[theLichKing]: See that's exactly what I'm talking about. The throne is frozen. The chair that I sit on all day? Literally a block of ice.[theLichKing]: It is so very, very cold.[theLichKing]: I actually cannot over-emphasize how cold I am on a daily basis.[Kel’Thuz4d]: but its supposed to be frozen[Kel’Thuz4d]: its the source of ur power[theLichKing]: About that. Can I get my power transferred to some other source?[theLichKing]: Something that isn't made out of ice that I then have to literally sit on?[theLichKing]: Someone dropped the ball there.[Kel’Thuz4d]: ok so like what should it be then[Kel’Thuz4d]: like a ring?[theLichKing]: A ring?[theLichKing]: Seriously, a ring.[theLichKing]: Do you _read_ history?[Kel’Thuz4d]: so what then[theLichKing]: I don't know. I'll think about it. Maybe an armoire.[Kel’Thuz4d]: armor?[theLichKing]: No, not armor. An armoire. The furniture.[theLichKing]: Oh but speaking of armor[theLichKing]: I have skulls on my kneecaps.[Kel’Thuz4d]: ok?[theLichKing]: No, it is _not_ okay.[theLichKing]: I have skulls.[theLichKing]: On my _kneecaps_.[Kel’Thuz4d]: well for the thermostat i think u need approval from a supervisor[Kel’Thuz4d]: ill just get kiljaeden in here and well sort it out[theLichKing]: No![Kel’Thuz4d]: no its cool[theLichKing]: No, don't...[theLichKing]: Ugh, my old boss. I hate this guy.[theLichKing]: Ok I'll just...I'll act casual. Like old times.***User "Killzone'jaeden" has entered the chat.***[Killzone’jaeden]: This had better be important.[Kel’Thuz4d]: yeah lich king here just wants a warmer throne room is all[Killzone’jaeden]: Warmer?[theLichKing]: No it's really not necessary sir[Killzone’jaeden]: You want a warmer throne room?[Kel’Thuz4d]: yeah[theLichKing]: No[Kel’Thuz4d]: yeah he does[theLichKing]: I really don't.[Killzone’jaeden]: Ok sure let me just get right on that[Killzone’jaeden]: I actually know these guys, they're really great, literally made out of fire[Killzone’jaeden]: They could heat your room right up for you[Killzone’jaeden]: They're called the Burning Legion...why don't I just invite them to Azeroth so they can come and[Killzone’jaeden]: OH WAIT[Killzone’jaeden]: Someone's too busy being Chatty Cathy to PREPARE HIS WORLD FOR AN APOCALYPSE[theLichKing]: So sorry sir[Kel’Thuz4d]: hey cmon though its not like weve just been sitting around[Kel’Thuz4d]: were spreading plague and stuff[Kel’Thuz4d]: we totally spread a lot of plague[Kel’Thuz4d]: and dont forget the spider war[theLichKing]: Actually I wouldn't mention that...[Killzone’jaeden]: Oh yes. The "Spider War."[Killzone’jaeden]: The "war" where you spent ten years getting rid[Killzone’jaeden]: OF SPIDERS[Killzone’jaeden]: Check it out, I had a Mosquito War last night. Mosquito lands on me, I squish it. Done. Two seconds.[Killzone’jaeden]: Didn't take me ten years[Killzone’jaeden]: BECAUSE I'M NOT AN IDIOT[theLichKing]: Yes sir[theLichKing]: Very sorry sir.[theLichKing]: I'm on it.[Killzone’jaeden]: Y'know what, you know who else might want to hear about this[Killzone’jaeden]: Maybe I shold get Sargeras in here[Kel’Thuz4d]: sure[theLichKing]: NO! That's not necessary[Killzone’jaeden]: Hold on I'll go get him.***User "Killzone'jaeden" has left the chat.***[theLichKing]: ARE YOU CRAZY[theLichKing]: "Sure"? Do you know who Sargeras actually is??[Kel’Thuz4d]: i think so hes alliance right[theLichKing]: ...[Kel’Thuz4d]: horde?[theLichKing]: *headdesk****User "An00b'arak" has entered the chat.***[An00b’arak]: hay guise whats goin on in dis chat[Kel’Thuz4d]: sup[An00b’arak]: sup[Kel’Thuz4d]: sup[An00b’arak]: sup[Kel’Thuz4d]: whaaaazzzzaaaaaap[An00b’arak]: what are yoooooou doing[theLichKing]: GUYS[theLichKing]: SERIOUSLY[An00b’arak]: whats his problem[Kel’Thuz4d]: hes cold[An00b’arak]: well yeah he sits on a frozen throne inside of icecrown glacier with a sword named frostmorn[An00b’arak]: the name icecrown glacier can only imply that among glaciers, which are themselves made of ice, this one is especially icy[An00b’arak]: its possible there is some coldness involved[theLichKing]: _Thank_ you![theLichKing]: Ok, so install me a thermostat pl0x.[Kel’Thuz4d]: uh boss ixnay on asking him to install stuff[An00b’arak]: what is that supposed to mean??[Kel’Thuz4d]: uh[An00b’arak]: oh i get it[An00b’arak]: bc im an arachnid?????[An00b’arak]: and how could i possibly install a thermostat without thumbs[An00b’arak]: racist[Kel’Thuz4d]: no no no[Kel’Thuz4d]: well ok yeah how would that actually work[An00b’arak]: im sure i dont know...im just an arachnid[An00b’arak]: guess what im not ashamed of what i am[An00b’arak]: >8< spider pride***User "An00b'arak" has left the chat.***[Kel’Thuz4d]: thank god***User "An00b'arak" has entered the chat.***[Kel’Thuz4d]: oh god[An00b’arak]: im lodging a formal protest[An00b’arak]: i am going to let every1 know the scourge is not an equal opportunity employer[An00b’arak]: and i am being discriminated against due to race[An00b’arak]: and species[An00b’arak]: and phylum[theLichKing]: Ok, look, there's no need to get upset[An00b’arak]: omg[An00b’arak]: dont apologize for him arthas***User "Killzone'jaeden" has entered the chat.***[Killzone’jaeden]: Sargeras is logging on now.[theLichKing]: Aw hell.[Killzone’jaeden]: Precisely.[theLichKing]: Listen, I wasn't complaining earlier, the temperature is fine...[An00b’arak]: kiljaeden??[Killzone’jaeden]: Excuse me, who is this? I'm *Lord* Jaeden to anybody that's not a Dreadlord.[An00b’arak]: listen killy there is some phylumism going down in this piece[Killzone’jaeden]: Killy? Oh you do want to die don't you.[Killzone’jaeden]: Also does nobody capitalize anymore?![Killzone’jaeden]: I didn't spend seven aeons feasting on the souls of the righteous just so I could play typing games with the functionally illiterate.[An00b’arak]: no im serious this is a real issue[Killzone’jaeden]: *What* is a real issue?[An00b’arak]: phylum[An00b’arak]: ism[Killzone’jaeden]: You best start talking some English[Killzone’jaeden]: Where the hell is Sargeras?[theLichKing]: Precisely.[Killzone’jaeden]: Don't get cute.[An00b’arak]: i am being discriminated against on the basis of my spinal condition[Killzone’jaeden]: What is your spinal condition?[An00b’arak]: i dont have 1[Killzone’jaeden]: What?[An00b’arak]: im an arachnid[An00b’arak]: >8< spider power[Killzone’jaeden]: Hey LK I thought you squished all of them already. You spent ten years on these morons and you didn't even finish the job?[An00b’arak]: what[theLichKing]: Yeah I reanimated him. I'm the Lich King, it's sort of what I do.[Killzone’jaeden]: So you smashed a bunch of bugs[Killzone’jaeden]: And then you were like,[Killzone’jaeden]: "Huh! I sure would like to have those bugs back again!"[Killzone’jaeden]: Is your brain frozen or what?[theLichKing]: Ok that's kind of what I was getting at before.[Killzone’jaeden]: That you're an idiot?[An00b’arak]: ur horrible[An00b’arak]: ur a phylumist[Killzone’jaeden]: Oh no, I'm horrible. Why don't you go and tell all my demon friends how horrible I am. They will be shocked.[An00b’arak]: phylumist phylumist phulymst phylimist[An00b’arak]: that gets hard to type after a while though***User "theLichKing" has kicked user "An00b'arak" from the chat.***[Kel’Thuz4d]: thank god***User "An00b'arak" has entered the chat.***[Kel’Thuz4d]: oh god[Kel’Thuz4d]: go back to your hole[theLichKing]: Yeah get out of here[Killzone’jaeden]: Go back to your hole, spider[An00b’arak]: p[An00b’arak]: h[An00b’arak]: y[Kel’Thuz4d]: lolwut[An00b’arak]: l[An00b’arak]: u[Killzone’jaeden]: Shut. Up.[An00b’arak]: m[Killzone’jaeden]: Dude get rid of this guy.[An00b’arak]: i***User "theLichKing" has kicked user "An00b'arak" from the chat.******User "An00b'arak" has entered the chat.***[An00b’arak]: sts***User "An00b'arak" has left the chat.***[Killzone’jaeden]: Finally[Killzone’jaeden]: Where the hell is Sargeras[theLichKing]: It's really not necessary, I withdraw my request completely.[Kel’Thuz4d]: no he wants armor[theLichKing]: An *armoire.*[theLichKing]: Of power.[Killzone’jaeden]: I cannot express how much I hate both of you.[Killzone’jaeden]: And this is coming from someone whose lungs are made out of solidified hate.***User "~*`Sylvanas'*~" has entered the chat.***[~*`Sylvanas’*~]: hey everyone ^_^[theLichKing]: How did you get in here?![theLichKing]: This is a private chat![~*`Sylvanas’*~]: lol :)[~*`Sylvanas’*~]: i hacked admin :)***User "theLichKing" has kicked user "~*`Sylvanas'*~" from the chat.***[~*`Sylvanas’*~]: lol lol lol[Killzone’jaeden]: TIE fighters[theLichKing]: What?[Killzone’jaeden]: Nothing. Can't you kick her out?[theLichKing]: I just tried[~*`Sylvanas’*~]: admin guys lol[~*`Sylvanas’*~]: :) ^___^[~*`Sylvanas’*~]: oh plus i can chat under ur names check this out[theLichKing]: im a little girl and i like ponies lol[theLichKing]: What! I hate ponies![Killzone’jaeden]: ROFLMAO[Kel’Thuz4d]: she hax0red you dude[theLichKing]: This isn't funny![theLichKing]: i play with dolls[theLichKing]: and bake cookies with my mommy[theLichKing]: Untrue! I deny everything[Killzone’jaeden]: Hahaha[theLichKing]: Ok guys this is lame let's just go to a different chat room[Killzone’jaeden]: NO![Killzone’jaeden]: We're waiting for Sargeras![Killzone’jaeden]: It's next to impossible to get him into these things anyway[Killzone’jaeden]: I'm not going to confuse him[theLichKing]: im a little teapot short and stout[Killzone’jaeden]: Besides this is hilarious[Killzone’jaeden]: Sargeras is going to get here and you'll be singing about teapots...you'll get pwned[Killzone’jaeden]: Maybe he'll buy you a "pwny"[Killzone’jaeden]: Hahaha see what I did there[Kel’Thuz4d]: i dont get it[Kel’Thuz4d]: wait ok but thats dumb[Killzone’jaeden]: Wordplay. Look it up.[Killzone’jaeden]: i like to dress up like a girl[Killzone’jaeden]: Oh now she's doing it to me too[Killzone’jaeden]: i like to put on women's clothes[Killzone’jaeden]: and pretend im a woman***User "~*`Sylvanas'*~" has left the chat.***[Killzone’jaeden]: and look at myself in the mirror all pretty[Killzone’jaeden]: and call myself the prettiest prettiest princess[theLichKing]: Umm she's not here anymore[theLichKing]: Are you just typing that stuff yourself?[Kel’Thuz4d]: ...[theLichKing]: ...[Killzone’jaeden]: ...[Killzone’jaeden]: WHERE THE HELL IS SARGERAS***User "~*`Sylvanas'*~" has entered the chat.***[~*`Sylvanas’*~]: heeeeeee~[Kel’Thuz4d]: omg wtf this sux[Kel’Thuz4d]: i have a dungeon to run[Kel’Thuz4d]: pcs are going to be like raiding me and shiz[theLichKing]: Oh please. The expansion is called "Wrath of the Lich King." It's got my _name_ in it. You don't think a few guilds are going to be farming me as soon as I'm a fightable boss?[theLichKing]: probably not because i suck so much[theLichKing]: DAMMIT SYLVANAS[Kel’Thuz4d]: ok and now my cat is 8fwhwe8ufhffweeexvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv[Kel’Thuz4d]: walking on my keyboard[Kel’Thuz4d]: hold on afk[theLichKing]: You have a cat?[theLichKing]: Seriously?[theLichKing]: You're a freaking skeleton lord. Why do you have a cat?[Killzone’jaeden]: Yeah why *do* you have a cat?[Kel’Thuz4d]: back, had to put the cat out[Kel’Thuz4d]: and ok[Kel’Thuz4d]: two things[Kel’Thuz4d]: first, cats are awesome[Kel’Thuz4d]: second, RACISM??[Kel’Thuz4d]: "freaking skeleton lord"[Killzone’jaeden]: WTF is wrong with you people?[Kel’Thuz4d]: hey! what do you mean..."you people"[Killzone’jaeden]: What do YOU mean, "you people"?[Kel’Thuz4d]: hahahaha[Killzone’jaeden]: Hahahaha...Tropic Thunder, great movie.[Killzone’jaeden]: i like to poop[theLichKing]: ...[Killzone’jaeden]: Ok that one I actually did not say, that was Sylvanas that time[theLichKing]: ...[Killzone’jaeden]: No seriously this time it was her[Kel’Thuz4d]: "this time"?[Kel’Thuz4d]: wait so u really do like to wear womens clothes[theLichKing]: You are, in fact, the prettiest prettiest princess?[Killzone’jaeden]: No, of course not[Kel’Thuz4d]: do u have a panty drawer[Killzone’jaeden]: No! I wear boxers. With thorns on them.[Killzone’jaeden]: And skulls.[theLichKing]: Ok were the skulls on the kneecaps YOUR idea then??[Killzone’jaeden]: Wait what?[Kel’Thuz4d]: yeah dont change the subject***User "SARGERAS" has entered the chat.***[SARGERAS]: I WILL CONSUME ALL HTE WORLDS!!!!!!!!!!!!1[SARGERAS]: I AM INVINICBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![SARGERAS]: I AM HTE DARK TITAN!!!111111!1![Killzone’jaeden]: oh god[SARGERAS]: I WILL CONSUM ALL TEH WORLDS!!!!!1!!!!!![theLichKing]: You actually said that already[Killzone’jaeden]: He spelled it different though.[Killzone’jaeden]: Dark Lord, there is an issue we need you to resolve[SARGERAS]: NOTHING CAN DEFET ME BECUASE I AM DEFEAT EVERONE!!!!!!!!!![SARGERAS]: I AM SARGERAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!![SARGERAS]: TEH DARK TIT AN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![Killzone’jaeden]: Right[Killzone’jaeden]: But what we're going for is[theLichKing]: Yeah I'm confident he'll be able to resolve this[Killzone’jaeden]: The Lich King has this complaint...[SARGERAS]: I AM DESTORYING ALL WORLDS RIGT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![SARGERAS]: i wear little pink girly panties[Kel’Thuz4d]: omg[SARGERAS]: WHATTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![theLichKing]: hahahahaha[Kel’Thuz4d]: pwned[SARGERAS]: I DID NTO SAY THAT!11111111111111111111[Kel’Thuz4d]: i dunno about you guys but im kinda turned on right now[theLichKing]: Rule 34[SARGERAS]: yeah, you like that, there's more where that came from[SARGERAS]: *twirls hair seductively*[SARGERAS]: I DID NOT SYA THAT EITHERR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![SARGERAS]: I WILL DESTROY ALL TEH WORLDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![SARGERAS]: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![SARGERAS]: ![Kel’Thuz4d]: *dies laughing*[Killzone’jaeden]: Ok I'm done[Killzone’jaeden]: F this[Killzone’jaeden]: I'm outta here[Killzone’jaeden]: I hate Azeroth[~*`Sylvanas’*~]: aw dont go :)***User "Killzone'jaeden" has left the chat.***[~*`Sylvanas’*~]: byeee~[SARGERAS]: I USE SUPER ULTIMATE ATTACK FOR EIGHT MILLION POINS!!!!11[theLichKing]: Hey I think he spelled all the words right in that one[Kel’Thuz4d]: missed a t[theLichKing]: Aw, yeah[theLichKing]: So close***User "~*`Sylvanas'*~" has left the chat.***[Kel’Thuz4d]: ok im out too[theLichKing]: Ugh fine[theLichKing]: TTYL[Kel’Thuz4d]: ttyl***User "Kel'Thuz4d" has left the chat.***[SARGERAS]: GAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!![theLichKing]: This is the worst chat ever.[theLichKing]: The worst.[theLichKing]: The worst.[theLichKing]: Whatevs, titan dude. I'm done.[theLichKing]: Still freezing my ass off though.[theLichKing]: *wrath****User "theLichKing" has left the chat.***[SARGERAS]: *looks around*[SARGERAS]: Chat empty?[SARGERAS]: ...[SARGERAS]: I have eaten[SARGERAS]: the plums[SARGERAS]: that were in[SARGERAS]: the icebox[SARGERAS]: and which[SARGERAS]: you were probably[SARGERAS]: saving[SARGERAS]: for breakfast[SARGERAS]: Forgive me[SARGERAS]: they were delicious[SARGERAS]: so sweet[SARGERAS]: and so cold[SARGERAS]: ;-)***User "SARGERAS" has left the chat.***